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  • Writer's pictureJoanna

Operation Bikini Body

You bring the bikinis... I'll bring the dong..

Sounds very creepy... but this is my life right now. The entire procedure of swapping all sounds easy enough... what could possibly go wrong?

Before I elaborate on this post, I want the full email conversation I had with the hotel to be public.

Keep in mind that I'm the idiot who left it the dumb bag there in the first place.  I try hard to remember this whenever I want to smash my head in to the wall.

Here goes...

Please note how I dumb down my English.

I have no idea why...

... don't ask.

Thank the heavens above.  Now I just have to figure out how to get it.

Should I taxi to the hotel and grab it?  Not enough time...

Normally it's 150,000 dong for a one-way airport shuttle.  I think this sounds fairly reasonable, no?

Big screw up here on my part because I tell the hotel that I fly in on Monday.

But I'm wrong... I actually fly in on Tuesday.

Big oops.

But like how I mention that I'll probably stay there again? Like they care...

And all the happy faces I use to entice them in to doing what I want.

I'm pathetic... I know.

OK - this is where they took a wrong turn.  Credit where credit is due!

No, tomorrow is not November 4th.  Today is November 4th.

I think that both Huy Nguyen and I need a lesson in attention to detail.  But regardless, this was where I noticed MY mistake...

In noticing my mistake, I go to great lengths to correct the situation.

And I did it quite well...

But obviously not well enough for the hotel to actually read my message before sending a shuttle to the airport...

Seriously... they didn't even read my message.

Wouldn't you think that a stealth mission such as this might require a quick look in to the inbox before hitting the highway?  And to wait for almost 3 hours without calling the hotel to be like,

"Are you sure she said today???" "Ya... come back, we messed up!"

Will wonders never cease...?

... of course...

Are they angry with me now? Is this all completely my fault?

I will admit that I share some of the blame but I refuse to be saddled with all of it.

Talk to me, people...

OMG... I can see out all now. I'm going to be stuck wearing the itty-bitty, teeny-weeny for the rest of my trip.


OK... let's try this again.

I feel like I'm involved in some kind of illegal trafficking scheme... Who's got the bathing suits?

I just GAVE you my information??? Then... It suddenly dawns on me that I'm dealing with TWO different people here. And they aren't communicating between each other! No wonder shit went sideways...

So... flight from Phu Quoc to Ho Chi Minh City successful.

An annoying baby screamed the entire way.

I just kept thinking, "If I don't get my bathing suits back, I'm going to scream right along with you, kid."

I arrived at approximately 11:45am and we were all cattled in to the airport.  Of course, my luggage came out dead last.  It was actually so dead last that everyone had left, and it was me left standing there on the verge of tears. I felt like I'd made some kind of deal with the devil.

You can have your bathing suits back... but nothing else! Much to my delight though, it came sauntering around the carousel and BOOM! I was on my way out of the airport to finalize my deal...

No one there...

Left, right, up the sidewalk, down the sidewalk... Looking ahead, looking behind...

Pushing my cart around in circles... Checking out every single taxi, taxi driver, pedestrian, every hand-held sign... Little silk bag? Little silk bag?

Nothing.... **(Insert sad and worried and annoying face right here)

Then there it was...

In the tight grips of a man walking towards the arrivals door.

I almost felt like Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" should have been playing.

The deal was complete...

My bathing suits!! Like my long lost friends! The love was strong. He got the money.

I got the bikinis.... smiles, happy, thank you, bye!

Done. Back in to the airport now to catch my flight to Hoi An!

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