• Joanna

Crab Cakes Take Flight

Updated: Mar 1

I’m in Amsterdam.

This sums up my flight to Amsterdam.

The flight nearly killed me.

And it WASN’T the guy sitting next to me who didn’t believe in deodorant.... though he was a close second.

The airline staff went up and down the aisles, delivering the fancy inflight feats.  I had a couple bites of my curry chicken rice... made a valiant attempt at the chick pea salad... then proceeded to devour the entire sugar brownie... emphasis on "sugar" .... The rest of the flight was spent in & out of the spacious airplane lavatory... or asleep... which was a bit of a blessing.

Was it the brownie?


Sugar rush mixed with motion sickness?  


My money is on the crab cakes. 


Crab cakes / sugar rush / motion sickness.

It's a no brainer.

There is nothing worse than the nauseous feeling of impending vomit while confined to cramped quarters... almost cemented in a narrow, restricted pathway under the burning scrutiny of strangers who have nowhere else to divert their attention... waiting patiently in a single line queue for the only functioning toilet in economy class.

These are the real dangers of travel.

No one ever warns you about this when you tell people you're going on vacation.

This is worse than getting shot.

The stewardess took pity on me once. I was up and down so frequently that I'm sure I quickly became the butt of all their jokes. She un-jimmied the latch on the locked lavatory door and let me in. To be fair, the only reason it wasn't being utilized was due to the door not locking properly. At one point, in pure agony and anguish, I broke down and literally begged the gentleman in front of me to permit me to use the facilities before him...

...after all, it was an emergency.


Unfortunately my emergency was not projected as such, nor was it received empathetically.

He told me that it was his turn... and left me there to suffer.

Deserted, I stood, rocking back & forth, moaning ever-so slightly, tears swelling up in my eyes... all the while, concentrating on my breathing, as I counted the seconds until it was ‘my turn’...

I might add, there was not a complimentary vomit bag provided for my convenience.  It has become a staple in the world of flight, normally located in front of my seat, along with the airline magazine and the laminated safety & security sheet.

Nothing.

If past experience has taught me anything, it is to be prepared for air sickness. I was not prepared.

Not at all...


I really need to monitor my food intake more closely prior to long flights. I seem to go through this with each and every flight now.

I’ve already been schooled in the hazardous effects of flying after consuming bean burritos with sour cream, sashimi, blue cheese pizza...and now I can equitably add crab cakes to that list. Perhaps a bit of butter chicken? Sugar brownies too.

For someone who never gets sick... I’ve had a stellar day.

Is this becoming a real flight problem???


Check in at my hotel is still a few hours away.

I’m. So. Tired.

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