Caretta Caretta

Finally got up, showered, and met up with Tom, Merel, and the kids. It wasn't as easy as one might think. The bed was way too comfy and my eyelids were way too heavy... but I fully forgive myself for my extreme laziness, as I'd had an excrutiatingly long journey the day before. I was beat. Tom and Merel were here with their fabulous kids, Aiden & Faye. Everyone had hoped to leave by noon... but as the weary traveller of the group, it was a tremendous freat to actually drag my ass out of bed and pull myself together. We were ever so slightly later than noon. but I got there. I was over the moon to see everyone again... but I was also content to just lie the day away in bed.

I don’t know if anyone has read my past Greece or Netherlands blogs, but I’ve mentioned more than a few times that I used to work with the Sea Turtle Protection Society of Greece. I first (and very begrudgingly) arrived in Crete in 1999 as a grubby backpacker, planning to stay for just one month... the minimum commitment at the time. Honestly, even that felt like a stretch. To me, Greece represented a beach vacation... not hard work, regardless of the project.

Much to my surprize, I fell completely in love with the experience. What was supposed to be four short (long) weeks somehow turned into 21 or 22 weeks, followed by another 16 weeks the next year. Looking back, it still shocks me how much I loved it, because life there was anything but glamorous. It was long hours, hard work, scorching hot days... and we all lived in tents in an olive grove with NONE of the comforts of modern life.

No running water. No electricity. No toilets. No laundry.

Nothing.

All we really had was each other, a shared sense of Loggerhead Sea Turtle protection purpose... and much laughter to carry us through the long, exhausting days.

Tom was our Rethymno project leader, and we all absolutely adored him. The following year, he met Merel, who had been volunteering in Chania before eventually joining our team... and she and I quickly became friends. Then, as life so often does, it pulled us all in different directions. The years passed, paths changed, and somehow we all lost touch... not reconnecting again until a couple of years ago. A few months back, we decided it was finally time for a reunion in Athens… Tom, Merel, Aliki, Thanos and myself!

And now, here we are. Back in the land of sea turtles, once again. Though... slightly different this time.

But honestly? It feels as though not a single day has passed. The laughter, the inside jokes, the banter, the effortless rhythm between us all... it all just came rushing back instantly, as if the years in between had never happened.

Walking back into that world of the Caretta Caretta felt strangely emotional... familiar in a way that instantly transported me back to my twenties, yet different enough to remind me just how much time has passed.

You know... and I have thought of this often... I would genuinely love the opportunity to come back to Greece and volunteer again someday. I know people always say... and deep down, I know it too... that you can never really go back. You can't. You can never again recreate a moment, a time in your life, or the exact person you were back then. But that chapter in my life meant so much to me and I’d love the chance to reconnect with even a tiny piece of it again… although these days, I’m not entirely convinced I’d be all that useful anymore. I'd probably be a liability.

I often think back to those years when I had almost no responsibility at all. I didn’t really have to be anywhere, or do anything in particular. Of course, I also never had any money… but somehow that never seemed to stop me from having a good time and seeing the world. In fact, I think some of the happiest and freest moments of my life happened during those scrappy, broke, uncertain years. Now, as an adult with endless responsibilities and a brain permanently filled with mental checklists, I sometimes wonder if my obsession with making lists and ticking things off is really just an attempt to outrun responsibility altogether. Like if I can just finish everything… answer every email, pay every bill, complete every task… maybe I’ll somehow arrive back at that feeling of pure freedom again.

Of course, life doesn’t really work like that. The lists just regenerate overnight...

Still… it’s an interesting thought.

One can always wish.

I do wish I’d lost some weight before this trip. I knew I should have. I really knew I needed to… but somehow time just slipped away, the way it always seems to.

I don’t even understand why it feels so hard. I eat fairly well, I’m constantly on my feet… and yet menopause seems to have entirely different plans for me. But… it is what it is for now. I suppose there’s no point letting my big belly ruin a perfectly good trip, or a sea turtle reunion, or these travel & friendship moments that actually matter.

Even if I do spend half the time wishing I’d packed bigger pants.

Ugh...

Life is hard.

Really tough…

All of us met up with Aliki and Thanos at the Rescue Centre, where they showed us around and gave us a little tour before we all headed out for lunch together. Naturally, I was craving my usual combination of tzatziki and a frappé… some habits clearly never change. Merel could remember when I would eat tzatziki for breakfast. If you ask me, it’s an anytime meal! It’s basically the perfect combination of protein, vegetables, and flavour.

Right???

It’s healthy enough to feel good about eating it by the spoonful… and delicious enough to demolish it with pita without thinking twice.

Tom and Merel insisted on introducing me to a Freddo espresso, apparently the Greek coffee choice these days, and I have to admit… it was actually really good. Freddo espresso involves blending a hot double shot of espresso with ice and sugar in a drink mixer, creating its signature foam.

I’m fairly convinced the Greeks collectively decided that those old-school instant coffee frappés probably weren’t doing their hearts any favours… and quietly (and quickly) upgraded the entire country to Freddos instead.

Honestly, it was probably a wise national decision.

I made them a little memory turtle book before I arrived. Not really a “book” in the traditional sense… more like pages pulled from my old journals. Quotes, fragments, little prompts of memories, photos, brochures… things I don’t even fully remember anymore. I didn’t give anything much context, because I just figured I would remember everything forever! I now wish I had.

I have to admit, I was slightly worried about sharing my personal journals for public consumption because not everything always went as smoothly as it probably should have. There were tears, “I’m leaving” moments, hard work that went unappreciated, snide comments, and leaders who were downright rude. One of the monitoring leaders, honestly, was downright awful to us most of the time when we first arrived. It was jarring. My first journal dedicated an entire page to nasty comments from the “turtle nazi.” “Happy Face Mad Face,” as none of us really knew what we were going to get.

Tom, Thanos, and Aliki were all surprised to discover how we were treated. They said we should have spoken up, but at the time, speaking up felt pointless. Truthfully… even now, I still think it would have been pointless. The whole leadership dynamic felt off at the time. There was this strange, unspoken hierarchy where you just knew pushing back wouldn’t change a thing. Merel understood 💛

At times, it even felt borderline cult-like. It actually reminded me of the book, The Beach… which is funny, because I read it during my time in Crete and found parts of it disturbingly relatable.

But looking back now, we were all so young. Most of us were in our twenties, trying to navigate responsibilities and leadership we probably weren’t fully equipped for yet. In hindsight, it’s hard to imagine any of us… them or us… truly knowing how to manage people properly.

Thank goodness we’re all so old and wise now… obviously experts in emotional maturity and conflict resolution. Lol.