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  • Writer's pictureJoanna

Roland vs. Rick Steves

I’m an excellent procrastinator.

To be honest, I spent most of December in a bit of a slump… so although I was excited for my upcoming trip- I really didn’t do anything about it.

Mostly I just wanted to stay in bed and binge watch shows on Netflix.  It sounds pathetic… and it was.

Finally on January 4th, I decided that I had to get my act together and figure shit out.

After I put up my posting, I got the normal responses from friends; "Have a great trip!" "You can do it!" etc etc…

But the best comment was from Roland.

Now Roland is a guy I knew from high school.

As far as I know, Roland hasn’t travelled much- but I appreciate the fact that he jumped in to attempt to pull me out of my slump with his clever advice on how to prepare for travel.

Here goes... (please keep in mind that I have NOT edited this at all... this is exactly how it showed up on my feed) 

Ok this is why you do first thing you do is if you drink beer to much the start doing shots of something you like but keep it old school rum whiskey vodka tequila non of that flavoured shit. Sip beer do shots ok that's weight loss oh yeah just eat protein no carbs lots of meat or fish and greens very important.  Then clean your house don't worry to much about the little shit focus on the stuff that will ROT!!!!  DO YOUR DISHES AND CLEAN OUT THE FRIDGE.  ARM AND HAMMER the little box in the fridge it's cheap hey saving money alright !!!  Do your laundry or if you got a month's worth of laundry throw the stuff you don't wear much like probably most of it or else you wouldn't have that much laundry anyways lol put it in a bag and drop it off at the VV Boutique and get 10 or 20% off inside oh yeah saving $$$.  Just pack a small bag like the stewardess with the handle and pull it along or have a few drinks and dress like one for the flight get a few laughs have fun.  Travelers cheques and passport very important get the little bag you wear around your neck with the zipper very important get the one with ZIPPER!!!!!  Tuck it in your shirt !!!  Tae out the garbage close the windows and lock them all turn down the heat very important save money or turn it right off my be you got a programmable one set it for the day you return so its nice and warm when you get back.  Cats or pets set them free or a friend whatever then I think that's it oh post office to hold your mail.  Ok that's all I can think of Joanna I hope that helps you so you can have a friggin' awesome trip ok !!

I tried to follow it to the best of my ability.

1. Weight loss - didn't happen like I'd imagined... but with this new-found knowledge, I will attempt to shed the pounds doing old school shots.

2. Arm & Hammer... I certainly did try to concentrate on the stuff that will ROT...

3. Value Village - well... I didn't take my clothes here.  Instead I got off my lazy ass and I washed them.

4.  Pretend I'm a Stewardess - nah... a little bag wasn't really going to work for me being away for a month.  So I had to forego that advice and shove all my shit in to my backpack.  I'm not going to dress like one, but a few drinks will probably be ok. Right?

5. Travellers Cheques... nope.  The 90's are over.

6. Passport. Check :-)

7. The Little Bag. Get the one that goes around my neck with the ZIPPER... obviously the zipper is the most important part.  Just need to tuck it in my shirt and I'm ready to hit the streets.

8. Windows closed & locked!

9. Heat - off!  No programmable one at my place.

10. Pets... set them free... Sayonara Potzy!

11. Post Office - think I'll just keep it coming and then throw out all the dumb flyers when I get home :-)

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